i haven't posted anything because i want to change my username, but since i can't, i don't want to post anything under this name. it sounds dumb, but i want something to be more "me".

making art in the summer is going to be hard, hopefully i'll have the time. i do wish to do more studies on anatomy and poses.

you know, everything has gotten better, but this boredom and fear has been staying in my head for a while. maybe summer makes me depressed? ( i genuinely hate the summer ) Even though i'm interacting more with people, i feel more alone, it could be because we share no common interest, and i get my hopes up thinking that we might share something, and then we don't. oh well, life goes on and maybe soon i will find a person in which i can call a true friend...

still enjoying doing art tho, I absolutely love it, and my heart pumps with happiness when animating, or drawing.

everything's a lot better now. it's pretty cool.

dad got angry at me for being sad, he got more frustrated at me when i cried 4 times. what a happy day.

i've been feeling better as of late. those horrible moments do tend to reoccur, but it's quite rare. still confused about a few things, but eh.

uhm,... i feel like shit. my thoughts have been going up and down, usually down, and drastically. i have come to realize a few things, and i'm glad i found them out, as they had been in my mind forever, and i never really knew the term, nor really understood or thought i had that. it has made me feel, distant. i know no one cares. i no know one cares. but i have had to live that way for as long as i can remember. it only sucks that it only took me years to find out, but i can't do anything about it. well... anyways. i'll still continue doing art for sure, and animation, as they bring me life. not meaning or purpose, but happiness. i am quite slow in producing art, but that is because there are many things in my life that distract me, usually my dad, school, and my intrusive thoughts.

i keep forgetting i have a newgrounds account... sorry, it's just a bit of a hassle to even upload here, as in, it takes quite a bit of time to add content here.

i think my mental health is worsening

after the few small tests done in photoshop, most were depressing looking, kinda. i will now draw, "actual things", pretty much, something that doesn't look depressing. i might draw a few of my oc's here and there, and do some fanart.